November 21, 2007

Stuff it like you mean it

I had an odd thought this morning: I wonder if anyone has ever made stuffing out of cheerios.

Yeah, it does sound gross, but I was betting the ranch that someone had not only tried it, but had posted the recipe on the web so others could savor the flavor. I'm happy to report that I was wrong. Oh, I'm still sure someone has tried it, but alas, I could not find the recipe on the web to share.

I might have to write a letter to General Mills (they are a General Mills company right?) and complain that I couldn't find a recipe for stuffing based on their delicious cereal.

Just one short year after Tupperware, in 1941, Cheerioats (ancient spelling) debuts as the first ready-to-eat oat cereal. Even then, the package was yellow. It's nice to see a brand follow through with their history in modern package design. In 1945 the name was officially changed to Cheerios.

In 1949, Cheerios sponsors the TV series, The Lone Ranger. It's unclear what benefit was derived from supporting a man in a mask that sent his indian ally Tonto to town for an ass kicking every week, but they even included a white horse in the box as a toy. In the 50's, Cheerios was there when Ed Sullivan launched Elvis on his career. Alaska became the 49th state and Hawaii the 50th. In 1964, cartoon star Bullwinkle appears in Cheerios ads. Cheerios introduces the slogan, "Go with the Goodness of Cheerios". I'm sure this is a testament to the wonderful high fiber content in Cheerios without coming out and saying, "You'll crap like gangbusters".

In the 70's, Cheerios was there for The Godfather Part II and it's Best Picture Oscar. They may have even fueled Sylvester Stallone as he wrote Rocky in 1976. In 1979 to the delight of all, General Mills expands the Cheerios line up with Perennial favorite Honey Nut Cheerios. In 1985 Coke introduces it's New Formula. Terror and mayhem result in the hoarding of Original Coke in it's true form. Cheerios markets it's cereal with Snoopy on the box as Joe Cool. It's not clear at this time how Joe Cool morphed into a camel and became the worlds leading cigarette advertiser. In 1988, not satisfied with their share of the growing cereal market, GM introduces Apple Cinnamon Cheerios in a bright green box. At the same time, a purple character named Barney dances into childrens hearts and parents pocketbooks.

In 1992 Johnny Carson retires from the Tonight Show. GM introduces Multi-Grain Cheerios to help him poo with better regularity. In 1995, not satisfied with having 4 Cheerios brands, they introduce Frosted Cheerios. The Chairman gloats, "Let those Basterts at Kellogs hump Tony the Tiger." The remainder of the board unhappy with this development, but petrified to take action merely nod in agreement. In 1996, GM introduces Team USA Cheerios. Whoop de doo. A year later with the brand suffering an identity crisis, Team USA Cheerios is renamed Team Cheerios.

In 2000, Cheerios celebrates the new millennium with Millenios. Parents everywhere cry out in frustration of this obvious language subversion. In 2003, GM introduces Berry Burst Cheerios.

I'd continue, but there are no entries for Cheerios after the introduction of Berry Burst. Obviously, they overburdened a fragile marketplace and went Bust. This reporter could only find original Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios at his local grocery store. He has still be unable to unearth a recipe for stuffing based on this fantasticly healthy product.


At 9:58 PM, Blogger Buffalo said...

Interesting. Cheerios might be a bit expensive for stuffing or using as a binder in meat loaf. The really cheap sacks of generic cheerios might work really well.

Me? I don't like the damn things. Never did. Now Grape Nuts, the gravel kind, makes me wish I still had my teeth. Hard to gum those little puppies you know.

At 10:41 PM, Blogger SS said...

I have had chicken fingers coated in Captain Crunch though. Not my favorite combo.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger buddha_girl said...

I hate any kind of Cheerios other than the original. Ack. Freaking flavored crap.

My stuffing isn't made with those fiber-filled circles and will likely induce strokes and heart attacks due to the fat content. So be it.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger JLee said...

That sounds like a fine idea to me! I love Cheerios. lol
Happy Thanksgiving!


Post a Comment

<< Home