October 10, 2005

Starbucks kind of day

I'm trying to figure out what we drank before there was Starbucks on every corner (and sometimes even on opposite corners). I'm not a big coffee drinker. I more of a social Starbucks drinker than a heavy drinker or even a Starbucksaholic. See, I've come to the conclusion that it's no longer about the coffee. I mean seriously, how often do you go into a Starbucks and just hear, I'll have a coffee black? Do they even serve that there?

I order my mocha caf or decaf depending on my mood. Iced or warm depending on the temperature outside. Even in winter, it's likely to be Iced over warm. Decaf over Caf. The two women behind me order: I'll have a Grande Chai, the other one says something I don't even understand. Starbucks coffee speak. Something nonfat with whipped cream and carmel... Uh, you want that in diet honey? How about low-carb coffee? I'll have the Atkins approved latté. Make it a double.

I ordered my blueberry muffin and was told, "I'm sorry, we are out of those. We have lo-fat?" What the hell is that? The look that crossed my face had to have been pure revulsion. She almost recoiled. Oops. I mean seriously, why would I want a lo-fat muffin? Can you bake that at home? Hello? Baked goods have fat in them. That is why they are so good. And why I only eat them once or twice a month. OK, what else do you have? Cranberry? OK. I can live with cranberry, but please don't try to serve me anything non-fat again. Ewww...

As I wait for my coffee (not long for a change) I contemplate what motivates the employees at Starbucks. Generally, they are smiley, happy people and they always tell me to have a good day without me having to tell them first. Perhaps that is what Starbucks really sells. Have a good day. Think about it. If you are one of the addicted, what is it that you are going in there for? Is it the caffeine? You can get that anywhere. Is it the little logo on the cup? The mermaid with a crown. Or is it the fact that someone is going to tell you to have a nice day? And you get to carry that out with you in the form of a little paper cup into the world at large.

I walk out into the gray day with the faint beginnings of a smile on my face. Mocha (warm and Caf) and muffin (fully ladened in fat) in hand. I look across the parking lot at all those lost souls without a Starbucks in their hand and I can't help but feel sorry for them. Hey, have a nice day!

15 Comments:

At 2:13 AM, Blogger StrangeMadness said...

I won't go on a rant about the evils of corporate America, which I am often likely to do. I prefer to frequent independently owned coffee shops that display local artists' works. However, I must say, in my experience at Starbucks, the employees have always been more pleasant than one would expect from an employee being payed not much over minimum wage to cater to so many people's java whims. The same at McDonalds. A few of the employees there seem to personify their "We love to see you smile" motto. I try to call and compliment them to management when they go above and beyond expectations. Maybe the corporate manuals are laced with stimulants?

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger Neonalune said...

Finally...a post dedicated to the love of my life (coffee first..starbucks second). I knew you could pull it off!

My favorite...Grande White Chocolate Mocha, althought the caramel apple cider is awesome for a no-caffeine visit. During the summer the chai frap or vanilla bean frap is awesome too. Just so you have a few more options next time you order. ;-)

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger Chrissie said...

lol I always avoided "fancy" coffee
until i started working where i work... one of the girls there got me hooked
we dont go to starbucks though.. its all the way on the other side of town... but frequantly one of us will take and order down the street, lil coffee shop. Really nice in the summer! Polar ice caps with an extra cap shot are my favs :) ZIIIIing!

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger kimmyk said...

I'm not a big fan of Starbucks myself. We have a few chain coffee shops here, but I frequent (quite often I might add) the lil coffee shop on the corner that has local artists there. You can sit down on one of the many comfy couches, play a game of chess or checkers and read the paper and watch the world pass by in the big glass window.
I'm not a gimme a black coffee sort of person but more of a froo-froo coffee drinker.
"Caramel vanilla decaf latte for me please. And make it a grande, and gimme one of them peanut butter cookies the size of my head to go please."

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger drunkbh said...

I'm a coffee regular kinda girl.

I have alays wanted to go into Starbucks and order some off-the-wall drink. "I'll take 1/4 of this and 1/2 of that. Themn mix in a little bit of those."

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger Parker said...

BTW:

Quit throwing away perfectly good clothing you could be giving to me!!

I'll cover the shipping -- C.O.D. works for me!

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger buddha_girl said...

Starbucks? Bitter coffee. I'll drink it if I have no other choice. I brew my own at work every morning. My students even know how to fix it. *snort*

Now...if you're talking a latte...I'm in. I want one right damn now.

My sister once got into a shouting match with a Starbuck's chick who tried to force a dictionary for "properly" ordering coffee. My sister threw a proper hissy fit and now PURPOSELY orders OUT OF ORDER just to fuck with the chick. Hey, we all have our kinks.

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger buddha_girl said...

One more thing...if ya like pumpkin, I just made some pumpkin mini-loaves with plenty of pears, walnuts, raisins, and FAT. They're delectable. Fat free? Fuck that.

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger 30Something said...

umm.. sounds so good, I think I will go get me some.

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Maggi-nifica said...

this is some of your best - very nice

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger Schuyler said...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29030

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Alice said...

mmm.. my mom has always encouraged us to eat real fat in moderation instead of creepy fake fat daily. it's a much tastier way of life ;-)

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Her Daddy's Eyes said...

I order a tall Toffee Nut Latte (hot) every freaking time I go there. I just can NOT make myself order anything else. It's so damn good. I only visit about once a month, but I used to go a couple times a week. I do wish I'd go more often. Damn a toffee nut latte sounds so good right now...

Oh, and I always eye the black and white cookies, but have only bought one once. (Fully loaded with fat! Yum!)

~Eyes

 
At 11:12 PM, Blogger Heidi said...

i hear ya =) "my" starbucks is about the people. but yeah, i'm all about flavored coffee. teas are yummy too. however, they need help with their pasteries... those suck. cya!

p.s. somehow i knew i would find a bunch of "corporate america blah blah blah" coffee snobs behind here =p

 
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