Starbucks kind of day

I'm trying to figure out what we drank before there was Starbucks on every corner (and sometimes even on opposite corners). I'm not a big coffee drinker. I more of a social Starbucks drinker than a heavy drinker or even a Starbucksaholic. See, I've come to the conclusion that it's no longer about the coffee. I mean seriously, how often do you go into a Starbucks and just hear, I'll have a coffee black? Do they even serve that there?

I order my mocha caf or decaf depending on my mood. Iced or warm depending on the temperature outside. Even in winter, it's likely to be Iced over warm. Decaf over Caf. The two women behind me order: I'll have a Grande Chai, the other one says something I don't even understand. Starbucks coffee speak. Something nonfat with whipped cream and carmel... Uh, you want that in diet honey? How about low-carb coffee? I'll have the Atkins approved latté. Make it a double.

I ordered my blueberry muffin and was told, "I'm sorry, we are out of those. We have lo-fat?" What the hell is that? The look that crossed my face had to have been pure revulsion. She almost recoiled. Oops. I mean seriously, why would I want a lo-fat muffin? Can you bake that at home? Hello? Baked goods have fat in them. That is why they are so good. And why I only eat them once or twice a month. OK, what else do you have? Cranberry? OK. I can live with cranberry, but please don't try to serve me anything non-fat again. Ewww...

As I wait for my coffee (not long for a change) I contemplate what motivates the employees at Starbucks. Generally, they are smiley, happy people and they always tell me to have a good day without me having to tell them first. Perhaps that is what Starbucks really sells. Have a good day. Think about it. If you are one of the addicted, what is it that you are going in there for? Is it the caffeine? You can get that anywhere. Is it the little logo on the cup? The mermaid with a crown. Or is it the fact that someone is going to tell you to have a nice day? And you get to carry that out with you in the form of a little paper cup into the world at large.

I walk out into the gray day with the faint beginnings of a smile on my face. Mocha (warm and Caf) and muffin (fully ladened in fat) in hand. I look across the parking lot at all those lost souls without a Starbucks in their hand and I can't help but feel sorry for them. Hey, have a nice day!