October 08, 2005

Bring in the heavy equipment...

I began the day with visions of heavy earth movers, wrecking balls, crane's, heavy duty forklifts, hard hats, an army of laborers and metal lunch boxes with thermoses of coffee and a special note from a loved one inside. What I got, was me. Yeah, a one man team of Sea Bee caliber engineer, architect and builder all rolled into one. Too bad neither the engineer or the architect or the builder was required. It goes without saying for this project the heavy equipment wasn't required either. Just the laborer. Me.

Reorganizing a house you just moved into is never a pleasant task. You still aren't all the way out of box hell and you know if your heart that you unpacked the wrong stuff to begin with. Where is this? where is that? I decided today was the day. Moving large furniture items from one end of my manse to another simply to have an easier traffic flow. Suddenly, I appear to have more room? Is this an optical illusion? Of course, emptying those 5-8 boxes helps. Re-stacking is another great option that is widely under utilized. I mean, if you re-order the mess, it appears you've actually accomplished something right?

So, unveiled in the effort was the dish detergent I've been too stubborn to buy a new box of since I moved in 'because I have some already, dammit'. How it ended up mixed in with the wine cellar that had taken temporary residence in the office, I have no idea. Well, I do, but I'm not in the pointing finger mode today, especially not at myself. *Looks around guiltily, furtive even* Is that paranoia I smell? Hmmm... might be.

I can see more of the office floor, I rearranged the bedroom, I can see almost all the floor I'm ever going to see in the living room. The kitchen counters are nearly cleared of moving debris. I hauled no less than 5 trips to the dumpster ranging from clothes racks to emptied wine cases and clothing I've decided my re-burgeoning fashion sense dictates I no longer even consider putting over my naked body to clothe it. This however didn't open up an more room in my near to bursting closet. It just got more clutter off the floor. Not that this is a bad thing, but now I'm considering just how to reduce the amount of clothing I have in the closet and plans to obtain anything new in the future will certainly necessitate the removal and immediate discarding of seminal favorites. Grrr...

So, in the end, I have a greater sense of peace than if I had gone to some type of religious tent revival and had my heathen soul saved. Lay hands on me brother and you'll soon be able to demonstrate with great accuracy just how to remove a size 11 shit kicker from your tight ass. Strange how that particular image gives me even greater pleasure and sense of peace with the world isn't it?

5 Comments:

At 12:39 AM, Blogger drunkbh said...

I know how to allieviate your clothes problem. Throw all of them away. Just run around naked except for the shit kickers.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Neonalune said...

I'm glad you could at least locate your computer :-)

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger StrangeMadness said...

Wow, you're much more motivated than I am. I've been in my new house for 4 months and I still have stacks of boxes. Kudos to you!

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger 30Something said...

LMAO.. omg. That was funny and yet also SOOOO my life too!

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Maggi-nifica said...

Wine closet? So not it for that one!

 

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