June 28, 2005

A fresh perspective

How is it that someone can walk into your world and knock you on your ass without even trying? I'm not talking physical violence, I'm talking about shocking you to your core that someone actually pays attention and isn't pushing an agenda. Not sure how this happens or where it comes from. Amazing people. How can we be one? You want to reach out to people and beg them to be what you know they could be. Then someone walks into your life and does exactly that without ever saying the words aloud.

You ever forget you wrote something and had someone give it back to you... and tell you it mattered? You read your own words and find tremendous guilt that you aren't living up to your own hopes and dreams for others (or did you write it for yourself)? How is that it's so easy to give advice to others, but so many of us fail to take even our own words to heart and find a way to live to our own expectations?

Did you step outside your comfortable little world today? Did you look at something you've seen a million times with fresh eyes? Come on - put your hands out in front of you... what do you see? Where do you go? (Note: this goes back to a previous post.) You hold the power within your own mind to be wherever you desire... so why let yourself be miserable?

June 27, 2005

A Bone to Pick

A few days ago, I had the honor of having a friend place a Maori bone carved necklace around my neck. This necklace was carved specifically for me. It's a one of a kind piece of art with enormous symbology.

A Hei-Matau:

These very stylised fish hooks represent strength, prosperity,abundance, fertility and a great respect for the sea.
It also is said to provide good luck and safety when traveling over water so is often worn by travelers.
Hei-Matau are also symbols of power and authority which are held in great reverence by the Maori people.

They were used as a practical tool for fishing and were often decorated as a sign of respect for the creatures of the sea.
There are many styles of Hei-Matau from the true hook designs to the more ornamental styles which became treasured heirlooms for generations following.


The spiral is a Koru, represents the fern frond as it opens bringing new life and purity to the world. It also represents peace, tranquility and spirituality along with a strong sense of regrowth or new beginnings.
The Koru is also often associated with nurturing so when interlocked with others is frequently used to represent the strength and purity of a loving relationship within a family.

The particular design I have incorporates both of these traditional styles into one piece... The meaning behind it is significant. They talk about a wise leader and provider with a focus on family, love and spirituality. For me, it marks the beginning of a new path in my life.

One thing about the bone carvings... it's considered bad luck to put it on yourself. If you should 'buy' one, follow the customs of the Maori people and have a friend give it to you. Better yet, find a friend and buy one for each other. It will create a bond between you and that person for life. As you wear the carving, it will absorb a part of your soul and will itself change in the process. You'll see this physically as the bone goes from white to creamy honey in color. In the process of wearing it, you'll create a family heirloom to be passed on for generations.

June 09, 2005

A pile of what?

You ever feel like your life just turned into a pile of shit for no apparent reason? One day, things are going swimmingly and the next, you have more on your plate than you ever imagined. Where does this stuff come from? It's all little stuff too. It's not the big stuff, the big life decisions, the kind of thing that ends up with a ring on someone's finger or a mortgage that feels bigger than you could ever earn in your current lifetime (although, I'll admit the second one is certainly looming over me).

This is the the stuff everyone is always telling you not to sweat. You know what though? It's hot in here... Everyone that senses this is going on wants to help and I don't know how to let them. It's not like they can come and fold my pile of laundry or organize my sock drawer. That's not my problem. Nor can I explain to them what it is exactly that is bothering me.

I think most people reach for reach for uncle Jack or Jim or a Crown at this point in time. I don't have the time or the inclination to deaden myself to my world. Each experience a movement along the path that is my life story. Good or bad, it's the things that I will remember in a year that will really mean something in my life. Those that I remember in 10 years even more so... the fact that my sock drawer isn't up to snuff isn't something I'm going to remember even a month from now, so why do I let it get under my skin like a fresh tattoo and itch the crap out of me?

I dont' expect answers... just wanted to vomit my mind. Sometimes a good puke is just what the dr. ordered.

June 08, 2005


So, I'm getting ready for another adventure... Chicago on Friday. I'd WooHoo, but my woohoo factor is low right now. I've never been to Chicago so at least it's a new experience. I called a place to make reservations for some people I'm meeting there. Decided to casually ask what the average dinner price is... $22-$79. Um, just curious, what is the $79 entre? A 44 ounce Porterhouse steak. OMG. Now, I'm a major steak eater, but even I can't eat 44 oz. of meat. I assume it's meant to share with another person, but at almost 3 pounds, I think that almost qualifies as Dinner for Three. lol Either that, or this is the extreme version of Super-size me. After being in Europe, I'm agog at the size of portions for our food here. I was rarely hungry in Europe post meal. They serve everything just right. Here, you can eat so much, distend your stomach and then desire to eat again within a couple of hours... what a crappy mindset we have here. Give me MORE instead of give me what I NEED. So lame. And we buy into it. Bigger, better, faster. What happened to enjoying the process of our lives?

June 02, 2005

Waste of a clean pair of socks...

So, I met this woman on match.com... tell me if you've heard this one... lol

She had cute pix posted, seems intelligent, witty even. We decide to meet for drinks... she shows up 25 minutes late (she called or I'd have been gone). Orders white zinfandel... "I'm a wine girl". Uh, then order wine... white zin... blech... She's about 25 pounds heavier than her pix. Has a ton of make-up on that is hiding what I'm not sure... but it wasn't even smoothly applied (or was it... and perhaps that is her skin texture... ewwww).

Slams her glass of whatever she's drinking. Orders another... Yaps about how much she loves the Mercedes SLK parked outside... 'it's a 100,000 dollar car.' (at this point, I realize under her perfect die job she's really a gold digger. A Prada bag carrying gold digger with a baby Mercedes of her own... Can you say Kompressor 230?

She has very little to say. Gives short answers to questions then let's it hang for me to talk... SO I do... I yap away like I never have on a date... so sad.

She continues to hammer wine... then says... "menu... I'm hungry"... I'll bet. Wants calamari and is agog that it costs $11.50. After eating that and finishing her third glass of 'wine'. (I had two drinks). She ready to walk outside... Oh, did I mention when she sat down at the bar, she pulled out different shoes from her bag (not cute ones either) and replace the ones on her feet? OMG!

So we pay the bill (She actually reached into her bag for the wallet (and, I let her - not paying for this one baby). We went dutch...

We sit at a fountain near the bar and again, despite my best efforts conversation drags... I can see it's mostly nerves 'cuz for some reason she's into me and not catching my vibe of revulsion... How do I know she's into me? She told me... and raved about my photos... "have you seen your photos?" Finally, I say, well, I have to work early... it was nice meeting you... walk her to her car... let her drive me to mine... I actually patted her on the head instead of the kiss she wanted (She pulled out a sucker on the way to the car to freshen her breath (and then put it away again - Sucker: use in case of emergency for breath mint...))

So, I wasted a perfectly clean pair of socks on a date...