June 02, 2005

Waste of a clean pair of socks...

So, I met this woman on match.com... tell me if you've heard this one... lol

She had cute pix posted, seems intelligent, witty even. We decide to meet for drinks... she shows up 25 minutes late (she called or I'd have been gone). Orders white zinfandel... "I'm a wine girl". Uh, then order wine... white zin... blech... She's about 25 pounds heavier than her pix. Has a ton of make-up on that is hiding what I'm not sure... but it wasn't even smoothly applied (or was it... and perhaps that is her skin texture... ewwww).

Slams her glass of whatever she's drinking. Orders another... Yaps about how much she loves the Mercedes SLK parked outside... 'it's a 100,000 dollar car.' (at this point, I realize under her perfect die job she's really a gold digger. A Prada bag carrying gold digger with a baby Mercedes of her own... Can you say Kompressor 230?

She has very little to say. Gives short answers to questions then let's it hang for me to talk... SO I do... I yap away like I never have on a date... so sad.

She continues to hammer wine... then says... "menu... I'm hungry"... I'll bet. Wants calamari and is agog that it costs $11.50. After eating that and finishing her third glass of 'wine'. (I had two drinks). She ready to walk outside... Oh, did I mention when she sat down at the bar, she pulled out different shoes from her bag (not cute ones either) and replace the ones on her feet? OMG!

So we pay the bill (She actually reached into her bag for the wallet (and, I let her - not paying for this one baby). We went dutch...

We sit at a fountain near the bar and again, despite my best efforts conversation drags... I can see it's mostly nerves 'cuz for some reason she's into me and not catching my vibe of revulsion... How do I know she's into me? She told me... and raved about my photos... "have you seen your photos?" Finally, I say, well, I have to work early... it was nice meeting you... walk her to her car... let her drive me to mine... I actually patted her on the head instead of the kiss she wanted (She pulled out a sucker on the way to the car to freshen her breath (and then put it away again - Sucker: use in case of emergency for breath mint...))

So, I wasted a perfectly clean pair of socks on a date...

7 Comments:

At 10:51 AM, Blogger Maggi-nifica said...

Dutch? extra shoes? Slamming White Zin?
Sounds like a winner, babe

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Anna said...

It sounds like you wasted a whole lot more than just a clean pair of socks if you ask me (which you didn't)!

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger Ciance said...

the few pounds heavier doesn't surprise me. women are nutz about presenting themselves with the picture that doesn't have anything to do with them in the here and now. do men post ads touting "looking for someone who was a babe 10 years ago" or "interested only in someone who used to be in shape?"

the downside is that we'll always be out meal money unless we worked out "dutch" in advance.....

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger The Dummy said...

Sorry to hear about the bad date. I've often heard from many friends that people are not what they seem on online dating sites. What you see is the BEST you'll ever get, and it's downhill from there, lol. It's that best foot forward syndrome, and it stinks. The quality spectrum's the same in the online and offline worlds, equal parts crappy, equal parts good, so in the end, I guess it's selectiveness that counts.

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger 30Something said...

LMAO!!! How did I miss this??!! Am I freaking BLIND! You posted this on my comments awhile ago.

FIRST OFF... SHOES??!! WTF?? YUKIE! LOL

I could go on with it.. but that was funny! Lets just say, I feel ya pain brother!

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger Her Daddy's Eyes said...

Holy hell...that is FUNNY! Oh.my.god...come over to my house, I'll wash the socks for you and they won't be wasted, I assure you.

Patted her on the head? Classic!

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger Chris-el-da said...

wow. pat on the head! white zin for wine? i order that at red lobster cause it's buy one get one...

sorry to hear about this date although i did amuse me!

 

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