March 26, 2010

Bear it or share it?

Sometimes we have all this turmoil in our minds. We feel uneasy, jittery, our minds pace like a caged tiger. If someone asked what we were thinking the answer would be the same. “Nothing.” Really, at that second, everything froze. It is no longer about the rent payment, the car, the dog, your boss, whether or not the Yankees are going to win in four. Like vapor being sucked out a hose, vvvwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiip. It’s gone.

At that moment, it just became about the relationship with the person that asked. Can you tell them something that will ease their mind? Can you make it real? Will it be the truth? “See, there is this stuff I want to protect you from, it’s not pretty, it’s not cute, it’s not friendly. In fact, it’s a bit crunchy, a bit slimy, and probably not a yummy for your mind.” Most of us can’t be that honest with ourselves let alone another person. So we hide behind a plausible story that fits.

The thing is, when you can share the crunchy, the slimy, the non-yummy, it makes the yummy, the soft velvety, smooth to the touch oh, so much better than we imagined. Melting away in the peace of someone’s arms, hearing them breath with their own rhythm. Feeling the warmth of them next to you, soothing away the aches and pains that made the turmoil that was so recently swimming around our brains. Yes, you can share it, the load is less when there are two carrying it.


At 9:23 PM, Blogger Jill said...

Usually I agree wholeheartedly...
I have an exception to the rule, which I am currently living with- someone suffering with a deep dark depression.
My husband asked me just such a question earlier, and I didn't dare tell him the truth. I would LOVE to, but he couldn't bear it.


It's a lonely path right now.

At 3:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 9:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I stumbled upon this blog...& your 'Bear it or Share it?' entry caught me. It's completely true & entirely painful. Bearing oneself is such a fearful thing being that you could be let down. Trusting someone to bear it with you is difficult. Thanks for writing that entry though. Gives me hope for the future, perhaps.


At 12:21 AM, Blogger Random Thinker said...

I very much agree with you, but the problem is: it is so rare to find someone who you can be completely honest with. As positive as the idea of sharing thoughts is, it's not entirely realistic.

At 10:39 PM, Blogger VIVE said...

I'm trying to share, because I'm trying to find what I lost when I stopped sharing. It's not easy, but I hope it works.


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