November 18, 2007

The porcelain goddess is stoned

As time passes in our lives, many of us collect portions of medicines we do not finish as directed. From Antibiotics to painkillers, happy meds, non-itchy meds, meds to make us virile, meds to make us go, meds to stop us up, meds to lower our cholesteral, meds to keep you from peeing (cue Judas Priest). You get the idea.

Since there isn't a turn-in program where you can recycle your unused drugs, the only alternative to keeping them around for years and years is to dump them in the toilet. I realize you as a good citizen aren't 'holding', but if you are, it's time to get the porcelain goddess high. Everyone gets high, everyone gets low. - Sixx AM lyric. Look, I'm not kidding. Start opening those neat child safety proof lids (so much easier to open when i was a kid) and plop them in the toilet.

As you go, watch how your stomach might have ingested these meds. What is their dissolve rate? Do they combine in pretty colors? Do they clump or cloud the bowl? I'm not getting close enough to smell mine (that only happens when I'm giving devout offering to the porcelain goddess), but feel free to take a sniff test if you are so moved.

Task complete? There. Now don't you feel better knowing that your medicine cabinet is clean for the next party you have? All your guests won't suspect half the ailments you had because there is no longer any proof in your house. Of course the guy snooping through your trash is gonna think you are one sick bastert. He may even take out an insurance policy on you. The jokes on him though. 'Cuz you are no longer 'holding'.

5 Comments:

At 11:31 PM, Blogger JLee said...

One time I didn't use any pain pills the doc had given me and my coworker begged for them, so I gave them to him. I was an enabler!! (I hope not)

 
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At 1:21 AM, Blogger Buffalo said...

For starters you should never have left over antibiotics. Take them as prescribed, take all of them.

Read somewhere you should dispose of your old scripts by mixing them in with used kitty litter. Or ferret litter.

If I have meds left over I used to give them to the doctor. The clinic I went to treated a lot of poor folk who often couldn't afford scripts. I know. They aren't supposed to do it.

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger Schuyler said...

Buffalo, here's the link to a site that contains the statement about mixing it with kitty litter. http://www.itwire.com/content/view/11228/1066/

Wow. I've heard not to just flush it down the toilet since it ends up at the municipal water treatment plant, or your own groundwater if you have a septic field. I'm not too keen on the idea of the crushing, mixing, and bagging stuff, but I do like the wait for hazardous waste pickup day. It's kind of like recycling. When you had to separate everything out into metal, plastic, clear glass, green glass, brown glass, lots of people did it and lots of people bitched and complained. But now that it's all comingled with curbside pickup, it's not too much of a pain and more people do it.

Every time you ask people to do something, there will be those who will do it no matter how much effort it takes if they believe in the "cause". (I recycled in those "sort it out" days and there was no curbside pickup of it.) And there will be those that won't do it no matter how easy you make it. (We have people in my office who throw their soda cans in the trash can by their desk even though there's a recycle bin outside their office door.) But the bulk will comply only if it's easy to comply.

So, what's an eco-friendly guy who has a 15 month old son and lots of old medication in the cabinet supposed to do? Why, relax and have a home-brew of course. :-)

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Think Frustrated said...

If you have any weed, don't flush it. You can just mail it to me. :)

 

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