Back from hell

You ever have a very good day and at the end you feel unease? You can't identify the cause. You think you covered all the bases. Went to work on time, hit every meeting. Nailed the big presentation. Maybe you even smiled at the secretary that helped you in someone else's office. Got home at a reasonable hour and even managed to eat at what most people consider dinner time.

Mix yourself your favorite cocktail and sit and relax knowing you did no damage today and perhaps even some good. You didn't curse anyone in traffic (loudly anyway). Maybe you didn't even aggressively drive. You didn't kick the dog or cat (I have neither so it's a moot point).

Then you realize you've reengaged a nervous tick you thought you squelched years ago. Just a little. You tell yourself it's OK. That you can stop it. And you do. For a few minutes. Then you catch your self in that familiar pattern. Again. And again. Again. FUCK!