Oh, yummy

Have you ever had food poisoning? I mean serious food poisoning. Not the kind that has you walking down the street awhile after dinner with the need to find a bathroom, but the kind that makes you feel like you want to die. The kind that has you throwing up repeatedly until the last tiny morsel in your stomach is gone.

Then it goes further. You dry heave. Your stomach gets so close to your spine you think it might rip out your back. The muscles in your throat contract so hard it feels like someone filled your neck with molten lead. Then it feels like a race car speed bulldozer is pushing out through your neck. Is my esophagus going to come out my mouth? The pressure building behind your eyes. Your head shakes with tremors from the force. Then release. Gasp. Breathe. Repeat.

Hours later with supreme knowledge that you have ingested nothing, you know you are going to heave again. To your surprise, you manage not only not to dry heave, but to emit a first rate volume of yellow bile. The taste of is nothing like anything you've ever tasted. No acid burn. Just a flavor you'd shave your tongue to forget.