My child, the tastebud
You want a what? (Look, I'm talking to my taste buds here, you might want to give me a minute or two.) A malted milk ball you say? Really? How long has it been since you had a malted milk ball? Too long? You are going to have to be more specific than that if you expect to get my attention and actually talk me into getting you a malted milk ball. Look, I know how good malt smells. Even better, I know how it tastes. Add some chocolate and you've got a little bit of heaven in your hand. You say you need it right now? Look, just because you have a little craving Mr. Tastebud, doesn't mean I'm going to put on shoes, walk my happy ass to the car and drive a few miles to satiate your lust for a little malted milk wrapped in chocolate. You should have spoken up earlier, like say... when we were in the car and could have made the necessary diversion to a sales outlet for said product. What do you mean you didn't know you wanted a MMB then? This urge just came upon you suddenly and you felt the need for immediate satisfaction? Let me play you some Rolling Stones on Satisfaction. Yeah, I can't get any either Mick. Malted Milk Balls? Shut up. You aren't getting them. 'Nuff said. End of discussion.
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I have two Blogger pet peeves I'd like to discuss. First, Word Verification. People. PLEASE remove this from your blogs. It's such a pain. I'm tired of squinting to look and see, "Is it a J or some other nefarious letter?" Deleting spam is not that difficult. The majority of it comes within 10 minutes of updating your blog. Hit the little trashcan and check the box delete forever and it's gone. Poof. It never existed on your blog. Your readers will thank you. I wouldn't mind if the images actually made words, but when I have to struggle to even make out the letterforms, it's ridiculous.
Second, black pages with white text. I know this looks sexy (my blog was originally this color) but it's an incredible eye strain to read. For those of you with black pages, I'd simply request you consider using a more eye friendly color scheme. 'nuff said.
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Have a great day!
leaked by Mad Munkey @ 7:41 AM
9 Paranoid Schizophrenic's said
9 Comments:
hmm.. i have word verification.. and my background is black... what is this, attack-alice's-blog day? :-) harumph, i'm making my next post about how profile icons in pyschadelic orange and purple are .. .uh.. conducive to migraines. yeah. ;-)
Alice - It's not JUST you... lol
As for spammers, Perhaps we should ALL write Blogger and ask they they put a button on each profile page that we can hit to identify the profile as belonging to a spammer. Then we could identify the source... there is no current function for that.
The best malted milk balls are the one's Brach's comes out with during Easter. They are heaven.
Man, when are you gonna give up on that damn Word Verify thing? Some people don't have access to their blogs all day so the last thing they want to do is open up their emailbox when they get home and see that they got a comment on their blog (because this emailbox only receives blog comments) only to find that no, it's some stupid guy advertsing for mail order brides. Gish what a dissapointment. I don't get all warm and fuzzy inside when that happens. I get mad! I don't even want to have to deal with it. But your new suggestion for dealing with this is good, so if blogger does that I will take word verify off just for you. Cuz you will be my hero.
But profile pics? Let's talk about anonymous profile pics. Those drive me insane. INSANE.
i for one am a person who uses word verification-i got like 14 spam messages in one post-screw that. sorry if my word verification is a bother to you, but as i said then...i'd rather type a word then to delete 14+ spam messages about mortgage loans and car insurance.
maybe you need your eyes examined...i mean if white on black bothers your eyes and word verification is a bother to you-sounds like it's time to see a doc for a routine eye exam.
and finally-i *heart* whoppers. i like sucking on them til they almost collapse cause i hate the sound of biting into one of 'em. kinda crunchy and loud.
Neolane & Kimmy - As I noted, most spam comes within 10 (or really 5) minutes of posting an update to your blog. I've never gotten that much spam. Maybe I'm not on as many updates sites as you guys. I have no idea. But the thing is, Blogger's Word Verification system sucks. Check out Ticketmaster to see a good one. The words are reasonably short and they are not mumbo jumbo with tons of Q and Z and other letters we are not familiar with typing.
My eyes. - I'm a branding and communications specialist. Large volumes of the fonts used in web design of black and white are hard to read. There are studies about it. I won't bore you. I don't care if you change your pages of not. I asked that you consider it. I get my eyes examined annually by an extremely competent opthamologist... thank you for your concern. My eyes to date are healthy.
My taste buds never did get their Whoppers... Maybe as a treat tomorrow.
The thing I hate about trying to ignore a craving is that I end up eating EVERYTHING else instead. I probably consume ten times the calories trying to satisfy myself without giving in to a craving.
I've decided that if I really think about what I want and have it, I feel better about myself and the world in general.
I don't care about all that. I want a malt ball though. Now I'm jonesin'
I understand your word verification pain, I do. I hate it too. I hate it. But, it had got to the point where I was getting dozens of spam messages each day. I can't go back to that, I just can't! Sorry =(
Ok, ok, I know! How easy do you thing that word verification thing is for a dyslexic (me)? But fuck, dude. It wasn't a few, it was ASSLOADS of them. I was deleting them all fucking day. It was becoming a rage issue. I had to do it.
A trick, of course, is to type in the wrong thing a few times till it gives you one you can actually read. I have to do that. Some of those I think aren't even word verifications, just Rorschach tests. Fuckers.
The white text on black page- I'm with you. I adore Wombats, Anyone? but had to RSS feed his page so it gets sent to my email (in black text on a white page). Only way I can read the thing.
Whoppers? Yummy. I keep eyeballing the Milk Duds my son got trick or treating. Another yum yum.
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