October 24, 2005

And the gates of heaven opened

So, the lawyer down the block got himself a little Hummer? No, not talking about sex. Talking about the gas guzzling truck that everyone seems to love to hate. What's that? You want to one up him and make him feel like a wuss? Want him to really get his panties in a wad? Never fear, the truck for you is out there. And I mean TRUCK all caps. It has to be all caps. This thing isn't made by Ford, Chevy or Dodge (what's a HEMI anyway?). This bad-ass truck is built by none other than International. Yeah, the people that make heavy duty long distance haulers and other behemoth work horse vehicles.

What is it? An International CXT. I saw one in real life today. No pretty web site, no thunderous music. Just the pounding of my heart as I looked at the promised land of truck ownership. The Holy Grail of Trucks. The ultimate in self expression and complete utility combined with comfort and luxury unmatched by the detroit crew of wee trucks. You think I'm kidding? At 21 feet long and sporting a DT 466 diesel engine with a horsepower rating of 220 and 540 lb. ft. torque that combine to provide over 6 ton hauling capability this is no wimpy truck (just imagine how much beer that is...). Add in a engine service guaranteeing 500,000 miles to overhaul and I'm positively wet with anticipation. Wait, I don't have a 'gina. I guess I'm just drooling.

Want my heart to threaten to beat right out of my chest? OK - throw in a personalized paint job that will have any cholo (yes, my new favorite word) nodding and signing the cross for his own savior to rescue him from idolatry. Throw in the drop from the ceiling DVD player and air ride suspension and my poor heart doesn't have a prayer. Did I mention the two brothers? The RXT and the MXT. Call my Doctor I'm having a myocardial infarction. Please. Help. Me. Must. Purchase. This. Truck. Or at the very least, help me change my shorts. I don't know where I'll park the SOB, but you better get your little Hummer out of my way Mr. Jones. It's US born and bred and it's coming to eat you alive.




Photos Copyright International Trucks.

9 Comments:

At 6:49 AM, Blogger 30Something said...

2 or 3 miles to the gallon?

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger Frank said...

I bet some jack-ass that get's one of these is still gonna try to park in a "compact car" spot! Heh! :-P

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger Schuyler said...

http://search.ebay.com//search/search.dll?from=R40&satitle=%22International+CXT%22
or
http://tinyurl.com/d7z6l

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger Maggi-nifica said...

Holy Poop!

Given the mathematics of male compensation, the MidLIfe Crisis/Ego theorem (derived at the Women's Institute in Durham NC in 1978): the Volume of Penis (P cubed) is conversely directly relative the Volume of Vehicle (V cubed) as calculated by mulitplying gas Consumption(G/mi)and Value of the Vehicle ($V)devided by the square root of Engine Volume (CC)

So your neighbor as a 3.5mm peepee

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger kimmyk said...

I'm not a fan of Hummers and I don't think this truck would get my panties wet either.
They are kind of interesting to look at though.

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger Buffalo said...

Repossessed one. Wasn't impressed. There are hummers that get my attention. They aren't metal though

 
At 9:04 PM, Blogger Drywall Mom said...

If it didn't get 7 mls to the gallon I might consider it. But really who has the need for it other than people hauling really larg loads. And for the Cholos, they would probably try to find a way to make it jump up and down.

 
At 11:24 PM, Blogger Chrissie said...

Geezus Christ i'm glad we dont have those at work! I'm not sure I could survive in a place that ooozed that much testosterone!

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger Alisa said...

I do have to say that when I first saw it, I immediately started thinking of awesome things I could do with. A re-enactment of "monster trucks" during rush hour being one of them....

 

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