October 14, 2005

A toast

This is in response to a post by Audrey .

True love. My question back is was there ever true love or did people just work harder at it due to stigma or other factors. My grandfather was walking down the street with a buddy as a young man and saw my grandmother across the street. He smacked his buddy and said, "I'm going to marry that girl." He did and they were married until he died in his 60's. Today's generation the guy would turn to his buddy and say, I'm gonna nail her. He might, he might not depending on his charms. But he probably doesn't think too much about finding true love. He thinks about other things. Things that seem important.

I actually tried to follow my grandfathers footsteps and declared my desire to marry a woman I saw once. I did indeed meet her, surprised her enough to get to know her and lost her to a Dr. all in the same week. We remain friends, but I curse my grandfathers luck/skill in accomplishing his stated goal and then me not.

Love is ever elusive and it means different things to different people. There are still people going through with arranged marriages (yes, even in western culture). These marriages are far more likely to succeed. Why? Because family honor is at stake. It's a lot more difficult to walk away when you have family involved. Then again, are the people happier getting married to someone they don't even know? What is the sex like that first time? You might not even be attracted to the person. What kind of skill/game takes over at that point? I haven't a clue.

I used to tease my friends that I was looking for a 5 year contract marriage with an option to renew. Now, before you freak out. Think about it for a minute. Most marriages don't last that long to begin with. For 5 years, you are assured a partner. Since it's based on business and not emotion, you might find that you actually have more reason to stick through any turbulence that comes your way. Then again, maybe you'd just be waiting for that 1826th (yes, I added a day for leap year. If you wed in a leap year, make it 1827 days) day so you could move on. 1800 days. Is that really so many? And you never know. Maybe you'll want the option to renew to be exercised. A special clause with cause for celebration.

True love. I don't know is my answer. I certainly am not going to give up on finding it because my heart got bent or cracked a couple of times. Honestly, if there has never been pain or hurt in your life, you have not lived. Here's to living. Raise your glass.


At 9:19 PM, Blogger Parker said...

I have true love -- and it was worth waiting for.

You know her -- you've met her. Am I right or what?

At 12:27 AM, Blogger Audrey said...

I really liked your post.. it is refreshing to hear someone say that they haven't given up on finding love because of negative past experiences!
I suppose marriage is work - maybe that is why the arranged marriages always seem to last, though I can't say I think that is the answer.
The 5 year contract had me chuckling.. really, not a bad idea when you think about it.
I think your last paragraph hit the nail on the head.
You've just gained another fan of your blog.. I'm adding you to my fav's list!

At 1:40 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Great post. I didn't think it would happen for me, but when it did it was with someone that was right in front of me, my best friends brother. Haha, you just never know.

At 2:52 AM, Blogger 30Something said...

Wow, Mad.. very well said. I am almost speechless because there is so much truth in this entry. Wow, is the only word that is coming to me now.

Great post.

At 8:13 AM, Blogger buddha_girl said...

Munkey? True love IS out there...I've partaken in it liberally and don't regret all of the stomps my heart had to take in order to find it.

I've told my Husband Guy I wouldn't be who he loves if I hadn't gone through the wars with the shithead, pseudo Nazi men who came before him. I'm ok with being hurt as long as I can soak in the true love I have with him.

I really dig your grandfather. Men like him make women like me have deep grins on our faces!

At 4:35 PM, Blogger Buffalo said...

"True Love" doesn't necessarily mean forever love.


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