January 04, 2008

Bless my fangs

Have you looked at toothpaste lately? I mean really looked? I was at the grocer yesterday doing a little shopping and remembered I was getting low in the tube at home. I wandered over to the pharmacy section and found the toothpaste section. About 15 feet long and 4-5 feet high. When I was a kid and Crest was fighting the Cavity Creeps with their tooth walled city there were roughly three kinds of toothpaste, Crest, Colgate and Aim (?). I'm sure Pepsodent has been around awhile, but Arm & Hammer didn't make toothpaste back then. Nor did half the other name brands I saw.

OK, so getting past the major manufacturers, then you have the sub brands. Whitening this, cavity that and flavors. Vanilla toothpaste? WTF? I'm gonna wanna eat every time I brush my teeth. Isn't that kind of self defeating? I mean seriously, I'd spend the day between the kitchen feeding my face and the bathroom brushing my fangs. (No Bufffalo, I didn't steal this from you, but I was delighted to hear you say fangs instead of teeth).

Back to sub brands, the Crest website shows 12 categories of toothpaste and each category then has sub brands. The liquid Gels Category has 12 brands listed including Spiderman. Then at the bottom, there is a link to the actual Gel Toothpastes which has 11 more brands. How am I supposed to choose the right toothpaste for me?

I don't have a lot of brand loyalty when it comes to toothpaste, I generally like something with a swirl of gel in it, but I couldn't find one yesterday. The basics seem to have disappeared from the shelves. I think I ended up with something with Listerine added to it. Great, now I don't need the mouthwash step anymore. Can we get any lazier as a society? Gimme some basic toothpaste that fights cavities and keeps my occasional cigar smoking, wine drinking teeth semi white without the need for invasive dental efforts and I'm good. Anyone else with me on this bandwagon?


At 11:17 AM, Blogger Think Frustrated said...

I buy whatever's on sale, and then, when there are still 30 choices, I pick the biggest tube (some of the fancy varieties come in smaller tubes). From that, I have about 8-10 choices, and then I'm forced to decide if I want less tartar, whiter teeth, fresher breath. Can't I have it all? I just bring a dart and throw it.

At 12:19 PM, Blogger Buffalo said...

Wouldn't have thought it. Besides, you can't steal what is given.

I'm of a mind, generally speaking, the major difference between brands is the name and the advertising.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Neonalune said...

Hey remember Pearl Drops? Or maybe you're not old enough...heh. Mmmmmm. And regarding your comment about being in another country at xmas time....have you actually ever been to Orlando? :-)

At 5:12 PM, Blogger JLee said...

I get the cheapest kind I can find that is a paste and not a gel. haha

At 11:33 PM, Blogger SS said...

I always use Close-up so I don't even notice the other brands... but I have seen commercials for toothbrushes that have an electronic chip that tells you when to switch sides, etc. I mean, do we really need all that? My dentist keeps trying to sell me on this $200 spinning contraption that needs a new head all the time (thereby costing me even more). It's all a giant ploy since even my dentist concedes that my choppers (I call them choppers, not teeth or fangs) are flawless. Yeah, I'll stick with the regular brush thank you very much!

At 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I often find it difficult to find the simplest toothpaste (in paste, not gel). Usually, I buy Crest because I don't like Colgate's flip-top caps, but even then, the myriad choices get to me also. And don't get me started on toothbrushes...sheesh. I wonder if we as a society have fewer cavities and less tartar than we used to before all these "advances" in the words of teeth. I kinda doubt it.


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