Making Centurions - The Century Club

This is a drinking story where I didn't have a thing to drink. Hmm... drinking story and no drinking on my part. Say what?

For those of you who grew up sheltered and never heard of it, there is a drinking game that consists of drinking a shot of beer every minute for a hundred minutes. Doesn't sound too bad, right? I mean, a shot is an ounce of beer. So, a century is only 100 ounces of beer or around 8.5 beers. For you power drinkers out there, there is the Double Century. This will pretty much rock your world. I did a double century once and vowed never to do it again. Until a group of friends talked me into it when I was leaving Korea. The second time despite training heavily for the event, I was stopped cold at 163. I couldn't do another if you'd put a million bucks on the table and offered it to me for #164 down the ol' gullet. No, the double century is not for the meek or uninitiated.

I digress. After having done a few centuries in college and post college years I decided there needed to be some additional rules. To start with, a centurion must initiate others into being a centurion. This means, that you gather a group of wannabe drunks. A shot glass for each and a twelve pack of beer or more for each participant and you begin.

Now, The lead centurion must be sober (the reason for this is that if you are drinking, you will drop time and it's crucial that each player get each shot at perfectly spaced intervals). Century is best conducted with 6-12 people. Bottled beer is easier to pour than canned beer, but you do what you do. I'd also recommend you not use heavy beers to play. You'd spew around 45 if you tried this with dark beers like Guinness or Arrogant Bastard Ale.

Everyone fills their own shot glasses. There is no assistance allowed in this game. Failure to fill before the next call Drink! results in a penalty shot. You have one minute to accomplish the shot you missed, the penalty shot and refill before the call goes out again. Drink! The first twenty or so, are kind of boring, people tap their toes, comment that the minute hand on the timekeeper's (centurion) is slow. Switching shot glasses with another player will also result in a penalty shot. As will informing a player that they have not filled in time for the call to Drink! This is not a team effort. you are all there, but it's each individuals responsibility to conduct their own game.

The earliest recorded hurl I've seen in the game was one of my roommates that didn't really drink much. He hit 34 shots and blew chunks everywhere. Apparently the pace was too much for him. The closest I've seen anyone get and not finish was 97. The guy just couldn't hold it down. He had to puke. He later claimed that it still looked like beer when it came out. OK, empty stomach boy. Failed. No crowning you a centurion.

Now, as you get into the 60's and 70's, people are no longer complaining time moves too slow. They are like, "What? I just drank." Failure to fill penalties mount steadily during this phase of play. Also, there are penalty shots for spillage (overfilling your glass to the point of overflow or missing completely) and for arguing with the timekeeper. As the sober person (and timekeeper) it is essential that you not hand out penalty shots for kicks. The penalties must be duly earned.

Now, around the 70-80 mark, people start to realize the ol' bladder is getting mighty full. Did I perhaps mention the rule that you may not pee until you reach 100? I've literally seen guys with their hands down their shorts pinching it off to keep from peeing their pants to make it to 100. They hop up and down and you can almost see their eyes turning yellow. (Or is that the color of beer?) At this point, the 1 minute mark to Drink! seems more like 15 seconds. Drink! Drink! Drink! I've seen grown men beg for mercy. Other players may encourage another player to abandon by discussing flowing water or how good it feels to pee, etc. No penalty shots should be assessed for this behavior.

Depending on where you play this game, there is frequently not enough bathroom space for all the players to relieve themselves once they reach 100. It's not uncommon for people to stand in window sills and pee out the window after a successful run to 100. Pre-plan for this if at all possible.

Once everyone is reassembled, the timekeeper will invest each successful candidate into the Fraternal Order of Centurions with the ritual phrases: By the power vested in me by the breweries of this great nation and years of hard core drinkers, I now anoint you as a Centurion. Using an empty beet bottle as King might use a sword to touch their shoulders three times as they kneel before you.

Now, as we all know, the body can only process so much alcohol at one time. I'm not advocating anyone to play this game (especially the double century). I've seen people incur blackouts and incredible amounts of puking playing this game. I'd also recommend that anyone doing this stop drinking when they reach 100. The alcohol in your system will not hit you until some time has passed. You are now on a major drunk train and it's not coming back to the station anytime soon.