December 31, 2005

Just a thought

What the hell is a Cheeto? The bag says cheese flavored snacks. Now, I'm not sure about you, but I've never tasted a cheese that tastes like Cheetos. It's definitely not Camembert, or Brie, or Gruyére. Swiss? Provolone? Cheddar? Hmm... maybe a distant bastard child of cheddar. Really distant and really a bastard. No one would claim this little wannabe cheese flavor as their spawn would they?

Trying to figure out why these things are so popular. They stain your fingers orange. They aren't really made of anything... being mostly air after all. They are nice and crunchy though. Just don't think about how mealy they get as they crunch down to smaller bits and start melting on your tongue. And just think of what your mouth looks like if you fingers are orange after eating a few. Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

Technically, I guess they really aren't made out air. They are corn meal based, so perhaps that counts as somewhat healthy? What is corn meal? Sounds a lot like Meal Worms to me. Ewww... 10 bucks says you never eat another Cheeto after reading that. Meal worms? Oh, sorry, corn meal. OK, vegetable oil is the number two ingredient. This is strange for a dry product that the second largest component is actually oil. Hmmm... Further down the list we see artificial flavor and color.

No!!!! You are kidding me. Artificial color and flavor? Artificial cheese. Hmm.. guess we know what kind of cheese it is now. Artificial. The very last line is in bold. CONTAINS MILK INGREDIENTS. Well, I guess you lactose intolerant folks are just pretty much screwed huh? But, if there are milk products in it, I guess maybe it is healthy. Corn and milk. We've got the makings of cereal here. Has the product just been marketed wrong? Guess who ate their Cheetos today? I can see the Total commercial already. You'd need 44 bowls of Cheetos to equal the fiber of just one bowl of Total.

8 Comments:

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Lil Bit said...

Hmmm... 'cheese food' perhaps?... Like those slices of 'American' for sandwiches?
Happy New Year, Cheezy!

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Chris-el-da said...

cheese has never stained my fingers orange
waaaaaay too much analysis of a cheetoh
i just had some yesterday
thinking about vomitting now
ugh meal worms
thanks! bunches!
happy new year!

 
At 9:09 PM, Blogger ChickyBabe said...

Glad I didn't have those on NY's Eve!

Happy New Year to you!

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger elvira black said...

Artificial "American" cheese product is one of the things that made this country great. (Don't know if you are American, but is there any other country that counts, really?) Cheetos, Cheese Wiz, Velveeta--deconstruct the ingredients and implications at your own risk. I think you forgot the most important component--the artificial preservatives in the artificial cheese. Rah rah USA!

 
At 4:03 AM, Blogger Steph said...

Never been a fan. Now Salt and vinegar thins! That mixed with glasses of Vodka just goes down soooo well ;)

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger Lindsey said...

I don't care what they are...I like the puffy ones. :0)

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Laurie (aka buggy) said...

I always thought cheddar. I don't like em, anyways. Same with cheese balls, just a derivitave of cheetos.

 
At 8:16 PM, Blogger Natalia said...

A cheeto is something very delicious that is very tempting and cheesy.

-N

 

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