November 14, 2005

Fresh apples

Dear single male shopper:

We know you think that you can get past the college days of Ramen noodles and Kraft mac-n-cheese, but seriously take a look at your last grocery bill.















ORG GREEN GRAPES - 7.66
SLD SPRING MIX - 6.99
MANCHEGO 6 MO - 5.46
GRAN SMITH ORGANIC - 4.32
NIMAN DRY SALAMI - 5.99
70% BELLETOILE (BRIE) - 6.81
B&J ICE CREAM STRAW - 3.67
CZECHVAR LAGER - 9.99
ORG FRNCH BAGUETTE - 1.99
TAX - 1.57
TOTAL - 54.45

If you can make a meal out of that, we'll generously kiss your ass. Not on the right, not on the left, but, right in the middle. Look, you just paid nearly $8 for 2 pounds of grapes. Not to mention the seven bucks for goat food (read greens). By volume, your imported beer is a bargain in comparison (at least you know that will make you FEEL good). Look, we aren't trying to discourage you from shopping with us, but we just want to be honest with you. Until you score the girl and have someone to feed, you really don't need us do you? Best of luck in your future shopping endeavors.

12 Comments:

At 7:33 AM, Blogger 30Something said...

LMAO..

 
At 7:35 AM, Blogger Jozee said...

How the hell can a bagette be organic?

Any way slice the salami, apply to sliced bagette, top with brie and broil. A $2.00 tomato would have been a good addition here.

Quarter some grapes, slice an apple
toss with desired amount of greens
and add dressing you already have in the cupboard (hopefully).

Drink some beer and decide whether or not you'll have icecream before bed.

Goin' a little heavy on the fat but
beer and ice cream will help you sleep.

Making leftovers from this will be diificult tomorrow so it looks like you'll be out another 40 or 50 bucks again next night.

Bon appetit!

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Maggi-nifica said...

I'm sure, if MM could find organic gourmet Ramen noodles (@ 10 for $28, not the typical 10 for $5)it would be an omnipresent meal in MM's home. Coupled with North western Austrailian Garlic hinted mayonaise for his free range bologna and organic white bread sandwiches.

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Her Daddy's Eyes said...

I couldn't get past the ice cream...let me go back and try again.

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger Her Daddy's Eyes said...

Ok...I tried again...nope...keep thinking about ice cream. Ice cream with a friend. Maybe I'll come back later and try again.

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Carrie said...

oh i'm killing myself laughing!!!

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger Still Searching... said...

Sounds yummy to me. :-D

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Annalis said...

Hilarious. Enjoy!

 
At 4:56 PM, Blogger Alice said...

oh that sounds PHENOMINAL! hell yeah i'll make a meal out of that! that IS a meal! cheese & salami on a baguette slices, mixed greens salad, fresh fruit, beer, and ice cream for dessert? yum yum yum

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Chris-el-da said...

if you figure something out... can i come over for dinner??

 
At 1:33 AM, Blogger 'Ain said...

That's alot of grapes.

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger Chrissie said...

LMAO... I swear thats Dannys list!

 

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