Fresh apples

Dear single male shopper:

We know you think that you can get past the college days of Ramen noodles and Kraft mac-n-cheese, but seriously take a look at your last grocery bill.















ORG GREEN GRAPES - 7.66
SLD SPRING MIX - 6.99
MANCHEGO 6 MO - 5.46
GRAN SMITH ORGANIC - 4.32
NIMAN DRY SALAMI - 5.99
70% BELLETOILE (BRIE) - 6.81
B&J ICE CREAM STRAW - 3.67
CZECHVAR LAGER - 9.99
ORG FRNCH BAGUETTE - 1.99
TAX - 1.57
TOTAL - 54.45

If you can make a meal out of that, we'll generously kiss your ass. Not on the right, not on the left, but, right in the middle. Look, you just paid nearly $8 for 2 pounds of grapes. Not to mention the seven bucks for goat food (read greens). By volume, your imported beer is a bargain in comparison (at least you know that will make you FEEL good). Look, we aren't trying to discourage you from shopping with us, but we just want to be honest with you. Until you score the girl and have someone to feed, you really don't need us do you? Best of luck in your future shopping endeavors.