August 15, 2005


I read years ago that Van Halen had it written in their concert contract that they had to be provided three pounds of M&Ms for each concert by the venue. Doesn't seem like a big deal does it? Here's the catch... there couldn't be any brown M&Ms in the bowl. Now, I've never tested the following and I'm just going to report it as fact. It takes 10 pounds of M&Ms to produce three pounds of colored M&Ms. You might be thinking that someone in the band had a serious sweettooth. Not really, they simply wanted venue producers to read the whole contract. Would it be depressing to eat only the brown ones? Word was that the remaining 7 pounds went to the crew. A band like Van Halen probably toured for 8 months of the year. How sick would you be of M&Ms if you had them to eat everyday?

If you haven't been to the M&M site lately, you should visit. They've introduced new colors, and a new M&M called the MEGA which is 55% larger than a regular M&M. Make sure you click on the bowl to watch the commercials for a good laugh. Or get custom printed M&Ms in custom colors.

You might be thinking I'm an M&M freak, but I'm not. I once was, but I'm recovered now. It didn't take a 12 step program, Weight watchers or Jenny Craig. I never had to stand up and say, "Hi, I'm Mad and I'm an M&Maholic." I didn't have to listen to the room reply back, "Hi, Mad." (Sidenote: Remember, they only use first names. I've never been to a meeting as I just described, but on TV and in movies, why are they always protrayed as monotone events? Does anyone have life in them at these things? Just curious.) So back on track, I just quit one day. Cold turkey. I think Mars stock plummeted a whole .0000000000000000000001 point when I quit eating them. To make up for that, I'm encouraging everyone to go visit the nearest M&M store (Now in New York, Chicago and Las Vegas). Hey, just because I no longer indulge, doesn't mean you can't.

Happy M&Ming.

Oh, btw - I was perusing their website and found the following factoid: In each bag of peanut M&Ms, here's is what you get. 12% brown, 15% yello, 12% red, 23% blue, 23% orange and 15% green. In regular Milk chocolate - 13% brown, 14% yellow, 13% red, 24% blue, 20% orange, and 16% green. (No wonder I don't like the plain ones... not enough orange. >:-(

Somebody get me a life. haha


At 11:29 AM, Blogger Schuyler said...

Before they added the blue color, M&Ms used to have 2 shades of brown. A dark, and a lighter one they called tan. Then, when the blue ones came out, they got rid of the tan ones. So I called Customer Service:

Customer Service: Customer Service, can I help you?
me: Yeah, hi, I have a question about the colors of the M&M's. Why did the light brown one go away?
CS: (perky helpful voice) Oh, the machine that runs the dye cycle can only have 6 colors. So we took a poll, and the tan ones were the least favorite, so we decided to replace them with the blue ones.
Me: I see. And what does the NAACP think of this practice?
CS: (very uncomfortable, uneasy voice) uhhhh errrrrr well you see.... uhhhhh

I've also called CountryTime Lemonade and asked where they got their pink lemons from, because I sure haven't seen any in any store or on a lemon tree that I can remember...

At 4:11 PM, Blogger Maggi-nifica said...

i have been known to hide a secret phrase in contracts to make sure it's read all the way through. My boss swore to me up and down left and right
Boss: M, I read the entire contract for the hotel.
Me: Are you sure? Please review page 6, second paragraph under 'terms'.
it read:
"my boss is a giant ass"

He laughed, reread the contract and found the other 3 I planted.


At 4:24 PM, Blogger Schuyler said...

There used to be a cool music club where I grew up in Roanoke. When travelling acts would send contracts to them, they would fill in things like under air conditioning: "Window". And under heat: "spring". Then the acts would show up, get pissed at the dressing room, but the club fulfilled the actual contract and were thus legally obligated to play.

At 7:22 PM, Blogger drunkbh said...

I'm a self professed chocoholic. M&Ms, Twix, Snickers, Kit Kat and anything with dark chocolate.

I think I might need the twelve step program...nah!

At 8:33 PM, Blogger Lara said...

OMG! I count the M&M's every time I eat them (I never eat peanut M&M's though). I even did a statistical report on it once, but that was in the pre-blue-M&M days. I recently began counting again. I don't think my findings match their percentages though... I wonder what the standard of deviation is?

At 4:21 PM, Blogger introspectre said...

I swear the brown ones taste more bitter than the rest.

I am OCD though.


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