September 17, 2007

Check me out

Grocery stores. Can't live without them. Can't quite get out of the line to leave. You know what I'm talking about. Your enter the store with your carefully prepared shopping list. You whiz through the store and then stand and wait in line. We all know how much fun it is to stand in lines. The first 60 seconds is OK. You peruse the titles of the magazines you'd never buy (or would you you sick bastert), you look at the candy, and impulse batteries for the vibrator you don't own (or do you? again, you sick bastert).

After finding out that Britney has cellulite (graphically photographed and in nice bold text) and Jennifer doesn't, you don't have much left to do but tap your toes and stare at the strange goods that on the conveyor belt in front of your particular items. Leeks. The freak in front of me is buying leeks... and tampons, lipstick, olive oil, aluminum foil... Well, you get the idea (the sick bastert).

I realize that cashiers are underpaid (probably in that minimum wage level we all aspire to). However, they also don't have any incentives to check you (or the five people in front you) faster. Nor can you tell by looking at any cashier how fast they are. There should be little digital signs above each cashier that show # of items scanned per average in 5 minutes. This would give customers a better indication based on their visual/spatial acuity about which line would actually move faster and thus get them out to the parking lot and whatever just a smidgen faster and get out onto the street to sit at the stoplight (bastert).

Let the check out races begin.


At 7:23 PM, Blogger Buffalo said...

You go shopping with a list? How anal is that? :-)

That said, it ain't always the slow-assed cashier. There is no shortage of shoppers with their heads firmly planted in their ass.


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