You might be a redneck if...

I think I finally made redneck status. Let me describe. You be the judge.

I went to Starbucks this morning before I showered. Yes, smart-ass, I did brush my fangs before leaving the house... ewww... I haven't shaved in three days. Starbucks is about a 1.5 block walk from my house, so... I had on cargo shorts and and bright orange Aqualung T-shirt. Since it's only 54 degrees, I opted to throw on a jean jacket. Now, the jacket I chose happens to be a Harley Davidson 100 year Anniversary piece with a large graphic embroidered on the back. To tame my unruly mop (which hasn't seen a stylist in 7 weeks) I pulled on a Potawatomi Bingo Casino POKER baseball cap. To top off the outfit, I slipped my feet into some Brazilian Havaianas flip flops. Off to Starbucks I meander. I threw my back out, so I can't move very fast. So picture that.

I get to Starbucks and order. I look like trash and I just ordered a $4 cafe mocha and a blueberry muffin. Then, I paid with a Starbucks card. Ownership of such a card is just ridiculous, but it beats having to whip out cash to pay exorbitant prices for coffee that is actually bitter to begin with. The whole purpose of the trip? To put something in my stomach so I can take a muscle relaxer for my back. Doh.