Man's best friend

I have an imaginary dog. His name is Brutus. He's the cutest, smartest, fun loving little guy you could ever meet. He's a perfect black and white Boston Terrier. He knows all kinds of tricks that make people laugh. He hides on command. He doesn't eat much. He never slobbers water all over the floor when he drinks. His gas is silent and not the least deadly. He doesn't leave hair all over my clothes. He doesn't snore. He's not much of a watch dog since he never barks, but he wags his little tail/rump when he meets new people. He's always willing to be held in my lap. He likes ice cream cones in summer and his favorite snack is an ice cube. He can run like the wind and seems never to get tired of playing. I guess you could say he's the perfect dog except he's not real. *sigh*